Oh - Is That Today?

I remember as a child that Remembrance Day was a very special day. I remember that none of the stores were open. Only the corner store was open & they were only allowed to sell milk and bread. It seemed second in importance only to Christmas. Now, like so many of our times of reflection, it is just another excuse to get some shopping done.

I watched the services this morning on tv as I do every year - and yes, I paused for a moment of silence at 11 - and I was once again struck by the faces of those that we hope to honor through our remembrance. They stand so resolute as if they are right there in the trenches all over again.

I honestly don't think that we can ever hope to grasp the horror of war. Try as they might, Saving Private Ryan and Schindler's List are still just depictions. We eat popcorn while we cringe at what we see. But when it's over, we just turn them off and move on to the next thing. We don't carry it with us.

Then I see those young soldiers that are facing a new reality of war and again, my mind cannot wrap around what it must be like to be a soldier who leaves his or her family not knowing if this might be the last time. What is it like to be the husband or wife that is left behind with an empty spot at the table each night? What is it like to be the child who only gets glimpses of Mommy or Daddy and tries to comprehend why they have to keep going away? When will you be home to stay?

I remember the school services as a child - listening to a trumpeter come in to play The Last Post, the reading of In Flander's Fields, the poppy pins, the moment of silence.

Stuart Maclean says it best: "We have tried, but we haven't tried hard enough. We have been busy with other business, though I can't for the life of me remember what it was."

So I hope that in the midst of everything else that happens today that you take time to pause and reflect. It truly is the least we can do to honor those who have paid a price that we will never understand. I say thank-you to those who, at such a young age, selflessly gave of yourself so that I might be free.

Now I don't want to get off on a rant....BUT!

I saw this in the store the other day and almost fell over:


Cash is so "20th century." Use your card! This 21st-century version of Monopoly eschews the cash in favor of a debit system that keeps track of your money for you. It's a whole new twist on the age-old property trading game. Travel around the board, collect money, and punish your opponents financially as you have some good clean fun. Tokens include the Toyota Prius, New Balance Shoe, McDonald's French Fries, Labradoodle, Motorola RAZR Mobile Headset, and a Laptop Computer. As far as properties go, you've got Boston's Fenway Park, Las Vegas Blvd., Houston's Johnson Space Center, Nashville's Grand Ole Opry, and Minneapolis' Mall of America. It's the same great Monopoly fun in a more modern format!

Correct me if I'm wrong but isn't one of the great things about Monopoly that it teaches math skills and money handling? We play Monopoly - the original edition, sans french fry token - and the kids love it! Frogurt learned some incredible math skills from playing this. He knows how to make change, for example.

I think that we as a society have a tendency to change things that don't need to be changed. The toy industry has become more about seizing another opportunity to sell a licensed character or indirectly advertise to children when it should be about skill-building. Children learn through play - they learn how to win gracefully, lose gracefully, problem-solve, take turns, math skills (even rolling dice teaches them how to add in their head) and so much more. They don't need Dora splashed on the box to do it!

The saying is "Don't judge a book by it's cover" but packaging - not just toys but everything - is a huge industry. Packaging and image can make or break a product. How sad. What happened to what was inside the package? Isn't that what counts? Why do we always need to reinvent? Salad dressing is salad dressing, whether the bottle is round or a more trendy shape.

I guess what I am suggesting is to look past the glitz and glimmer this year. We are being more cautious with our spending so all the more reason to dig beyond the logo. Our children will follow our lead. So find a classic board game, pull it out & see if they notice that there's no debit machine. I think they will be thrilled just to spend time as a family. And they just might learn something while they're at it!

Writer's Block

It isn't that I forgot about my blog. It isn't that I didn't want to write. I have been looking at the page everyday. However, I have found myself at a loss for words lately.

I've been dealing with things since the summer - things that I just don't understand. Why does an 18-year old so full of potential have to have her life cut short? Why does an innocent 3-year old have to have her cancer return? I've been angry and confused and mad. Yes, mad.

I know that a blog can be a place to work these things out but I just couldn't. Then I realized that no matter how much I tried, there would never be an answer that would satisfy. I would never know why these things happen. I can ask "Why, God?" every day but there won't be anything that will make me truly understand. Not in this life, anyways.

I started reading The Last Lecture. My husband bought this book for me months ago and the only reason I chose the other morning to start reading it was because I couldn't find the other book I was reading (it was buried in a pile of papers). Here is a man that had every right to be mad and question and give up. But he didn't. He chose to squeeze every drop of living out of what he had been given. It is a wonderful poignant discourse - if you haven't read it yet, go get it and read it!

It is how we look at things that can make the difference. That doesn't mean dismissing anything. It just means trying to find the joy in spite of the sorrow. Not easy, by any means. There is a quote on the inside flap of the jacket of the book: "We cannot change the cards we are dealt, just how we play the hand." --Randy Pausch

I admit, I've been folding my cards lately. But I am learning that I need to stay in the game. I need to risk before I can gain. I need to have faith and acceptance that I will not know all the answers. And I need to know that that is okay.

I am off to make pancakes for my kids - and at Randy's advice, they won't be round. They don't need to be round. Who decided that anyways? It is Thanksgiving weekend. I am truly grateful for my family and my children, who will help ensure that our pancakes are never round again.

Life Off Of Auto-Pilot

As you may or may not know, I joined Weight Watchers 10 weeks ago (on a side note, I've lost 16 pounds and feel great!). I have had more than one person ask me why I joined - I was never that heavy. While that may be true, I have know for a long time that I have had some destructive habits when it comes to my relationship with food. It had gotten to the point where if I hadn't asked for help, I would have watched my weight spiral. I was heavier than I ever had been and I made alot of bad choices when it came to eating.

When I joined and started tracking what I ate, I found that I had to be much more conscious about what was going in my cake-hole. I had to plan and think ahead. No more auto-pilot. I remember one evening shortly after starting, we were at Freckle's year-end piano recital and afterward there were desserts and snacks out for people to eat. I looked around the room and watched as people mindlessly filled their faces.

Now, don't get me wrong. I have nothing against dessert! I had pie twice last week! However, it drew parallels for me as to how we live our lives. Auto-pilot. Reactionary. Buy now, pay later.

I wrote earlier in a post about switching to a cash-only system. This was taking control of another area of our lives that also operated on a non-thinking system for the most part. Ooo - I like that so I'll buy it. No planning, no control. Now I have a grocery budget and a meal plan in tow when I head to the store and we are much happier.

The more areas of our lives that we can take back the reigns, the better. There are small and simple steps we can take each day in whatever arena needs attention.

Weight? Start writing down what you eat or eliminate one bad habit now.
Money? Move to a cash-only system. It is truly the best way to see where your money actually goes.
Time? Do a to-do list and stick to it. Don't overwhelm yourself with 50 items. Make it achievable and enjoy the feeling of checking things off.
Personal time? Schedule it in. That's right - mark it on the calendar as "me-time" and don't make any other plans. Make it as high a priority as any other appointment. If you had a doctor's visit scheduled, you wouldn't choose not to go because there was too much laundry. Treat yourself with the same importance!
Cooking? Make a meal plan for the week - this will actually overflow into several arenas - you'll save time, money and end up eating healthier! Check out Sandi Richard's books if you need help. These are great books with family-friendly recipes that are easy to prepare.

Take control of your life. You are not a zombie or a robot so don't act like one. Don't let emotions or lack-of-planning control your day. Feel how it feels to soar with the controls in your hand. Trust me, life is much better in the driver's seat!

Symantecs

On more than one occasion, Freckles has asked me "Are we rich?" My answer without hesitation is always yes. Then, of course I ask her what prompted her question. It usually has to do with "stuff".

So, I ask her what that means - being rich. Again, it often comes back to the acquisition of things. However, in my experience, "stuff" has very little to do with being rich.

I have little signs posted in my house that say "Today I choose to be wealthy." It is a choice. I experience the richness of my family. I experience the wealth of being together. I experience the fullness of giving to others.

Could I buy a new car? Of course. Could we live in a bigger house? Sure. We have the money and the credit. But it is a choice. If we choose to take on a car payment, it is at the expense of other things. If we choose to live in a bigger house, it would mean leaving it less often to go on vacation together as a family.

We have found that what is important is each other. It is the time spent together. When we choose to have an attitude of wealth, then abundance flows. We are very rich, indeed! We have everything we need at any given moment and so many luxuries as well.

It's just symantecs. How you define riches will determine your focus. Let your days be filled with the abundance of time spent together with those you love. Share with those around you. Find 10 things this moment you can be grateful for and express that gratitude joyfully.

Learning how to cry is the hardest part

There are some things in this life that will never make sense. I can't even try to understand because it causes me to break down. Language seems like such an insignificant form of expression when the heart is aching, welling up inside. I just don't get it. I don't understand why.

Mikelle, I will miss seeing you turn into the beautiful woman you were destined to be. I will miss seeing the photos you were yet to take, the songs you were yet to play. I will miss watching you discover your true potential because I saw greatness in you just waiting to burst out and shine. You will forever be missed.



These fleeting charms of earth
Farewell, your springs of joy are dry
My soul now seeks another home
A brighter world on high

I'm a long time travelling here below
I'm a long time travelling away from home
I'm a long time travelling here below
To lay this body down

Farewell kind friends whose tender care
Has long engaged my love
Your fond embrace I now exchange
For better friends above

I'm a long time travelling here below
I'm a long time travelling away from home
I'm a long time travelling here below
To lay this body down...

(Long Time Traveller by Wailin' Jennys)

Cutting Corners

The kids were gone all last week so I took it upon myself to repaint their rooms. What a great idea! I have done my fair share of painting so I know that I always start off very excited about the prospect and there is nothing quite like seeing that first brush of colour on the wall.

However, I also know that I usually tire of the project around midnight when I am covered in paint and longing for my pillow. So there I was at about 1 AM in Freckles' closet trimming the ceiling, thinking to myself, "No one is ever going to look up in here..." The temptation was strong to just skip it and get to bed.

I was however reminded of Frederic Auguste Bartholdi (must have been the paint fumes). Who is he, you ask? He is the sculptor of the Statue of Liberty. I heard a fascinating story about the painstaking detail he took on the statue, including her hair. Here's the thing: the Statue of Liberty was erected in 1884. Airplane flight was not something that had been conceived of. So no one would ever see the top of the head. And yet, he took great pride in every facet of that statue, regardless of who would see it, or not see it for that matter.

So, yes, I realize the inside of a closet doesn't quite compare to an historic monument but the principle is the same. How do we apply ourselves when no one is watching? The definition of integrity is what we do when no one is watching. Oh, the cobwebs we sweep under the bed!

I will try my best to pay attention to the details because it is in the small things that the difference between average and greatness can be found.