To Thong or Not To Thong

So believe it or not, this is based on a conversation from my bible study group yesterday morning - you get that many women together in one room and we are bound to rabbit-trail.

Anyhoo, this is a preemptive discussion as I haven't had to deal with it yet. But, a while ago, a friend of mine told me that her 15-year-old daughter wanted to go shopping for thong underwear. One of the reasons was probably because she as a mom also wore them. I too, wear them and am wondering how I will handle that question if/when it arises from my daughter. Why do I wear them? Because I find them more comfortable. I am not naive enough to think that is the only reason people wear them.

In our study, we are watching a video series on the book of Esther - the subtitle is "It's Tough Being a Woman". Beth Moore, who leads the series, took surveys from a group of women. The one I loved the most went something like this: "It's tough being a woman because we have to wear panties but spend our lives making it look like we don't!"

Unlike most of my junior female counterparts, I do everything I can to avoid the little triangle-attached-to-2-strings-peeking-out-the-top-of-my-pants look that seems to be so popular. May I recommend Junk Food t-shirts - I love them! They are longer and so comfy (I usually get mine from 80stees.com). But it is for that reason that I fear the question. I have seen way too many young store clerks sporting the triangle-over-pants look. This is not something I want my daughter to participate in. I don't think I'm being a prude - I just know that that particular style isn't one that sends the message "These are just so comfy!"

So I will not fret until the day comes (maybe by then, we'll have moved onto some other weird fashion trend that pushes the envelope). Maybe we'll return to the high-waisted jeans of the early 80s! And those extra-long shaker sweaters!

Heat Wave

Okay, so I am writing this while my car is warming up. It is currently minus 30 with windchill here today. But in the midst of that the strangest thing is happening....

For any of you who know me well, you know that I am always cold. I wear thermal pjs year-round as well as socks, slippers and a sweater. One of the main reasons I drink so much coffee is because it is warm.

So I was as surprised as anyone last night when I was struck by the urge to take off my sweater because I was absolutely roasting! Troy said when he came to bed I had thrown the covers off. And yet again this morning, the windchill felt refreshing when I went outside! Did I just experience a hot flash?? It's way too early for that! I saw that Oprah where she was talking about hormone replacement therapy for women over 35. Really?? Could this be the start of pre-menopause?? I had enough trouble coping with my greys which are quickly forming an army on my scalp.

It is some consolation, however, that I am currently back in my warm hoodie (which, ironically is a hoodie from Maui - you can tell they made these for tourists...who in Maui needs a hoodie?!?) and my hands are cold. I think the car should be drivable now so I will head out into the cold and feel my age again - an age that is not ready for a heat wave.

Anal Retentive

So back in the days before children, I was a highly organized person. Seriously - it was amazing. Now, this seems to be a unique phenomenon that lasted for just a section of my adult life. If you were to look at my room when I was a child, you would find no evidence of this. I used to have goldfish as pets and once it took me three days before I found one of them who had jumped out of the tank and ended up buried in the pile of clothes on the floor. I drove my mother nuts...

But then, came the golden days of organization. Everything had a home. At work, you would never know I did anything because my desk was always immaculate and there were never more than 3-5 messages in my in-box. I liked things this way!

Then came the children. Those days disappeared. You could still see small pockets struggling to survive - my tupperware cupboard, the way I fold towels, the labeled bins for everyone to put their own mitts in...and I still go batty if there are more than 5 things in my inbox - I have lots of folders to sort messages into.

This year has seen a small resurgence in my anal retentive self. I feel the need to be organized once again and find that the piles and chaos are making me twitch more than usual. There are a few more neat pockets appearing. I am striving to attack the piles of paper sooner and looking for new ways to cut out the clutter. After this I am heading to the eco-station to drop off a box of dead electronics that has been sitting in the basement for far too long. I realize this might not be the most exciting news but for me it is a breakthrough! As the kids get older and are more able to clean up after themselves, I am finding the ability to clean a room and find that it still looks that way at the end of the day - wow!! Of course, the cats seem to find great joy in fighting on a freshly vacuumed rug.

So how do you deal with clutter? What are your main hot spots? It is definitely paper in this house...I welcome your ideas!

In the Waiting Line

Slow down, you move too fast.
You got to make the moment last.
Just trippin' down the cobblestone.
Lookin' for fun and feeling groovy.

I got a great email today describing all the things that we as children (my generation) survived:

First, we survived being born to mothers who smoked and/or drank while they were pregnant.
They took aspirin, ate bleu cheese dressing, tuna from a can, and didn't get tested for diabetes.
Then after that trauma, we were put to sleep on our tummies in baby cribs covered with bright colored lead-based paints.
We  had no child-proof lids on medicine bottles, doors or cabinets and when we rode our bikes, we had no helmets, not to mention, the risks we took hitchhiking.
As infants & children, we would ride in cars with no car seats, booster seats, seat belts or air bags.
Riding in the back of a pick-up on a warm day was always a special treat.
We drank water from the garden hose and NOT from a bottle.
We shared one soft drink with four friends, from one bottle and NO ONE actually died from this.
We ate cupcakes, white bread and real butter and drank Kool-aid made with sugar, but we weren't overweight because WE WERE ALWAYS OUTSIDE PLAYING!
We would leave home in the morning and play all day, as long as we were back when the streetlights came on.
No one was able to reach us all day. And we were OK.
We would spend hours building our go-carts out of scraps and then ride down the hill, only to find out we forgot the brakes After running into the bushes a few times, we learned to solve the problem.
We did not have Playstations, Nintendos, X-boxes, no video games at all, no 150 channels on cable, no video movies or DVDs, no surround-sound or CDs, no cell phones, no personal computers, no Internet or chatrooms.......
WE HAD FRIENDS and we went outside and found them!
We fell out of trees, got cut, broke bones and teeth and there were no lawsuits from these accidents.
We ate worms and mud pies made from dirt, and the worms did not live in us forever.
We were given BB guns for our 10th birthdays, made up games with sticks and tennis balls and although we were told it would happen, we did not poke out very many eyes.
We rode bikes or walked to a friend's house and knocked on the door or rang the bell, or just walked in and talked to them!
Little League had tryouts and not everyone made the team. Those who didn't had to learn to deal with disappointment. Imagine that!!
The idea of a parent bailing us out if we broke the law was unheard of. They actually sided with the law!
These generations have produced some of the best risk-takers, problem solvers and inventors ever!
The past 50 years have been an explosion of innovation and new ideas.
We had freedom, failure, success and responsibility, and we learned HOW TO DEAL WITH IT ALL!

When I read this, I smiled because this was my childhood! I remember all the neighborhood kids meeting at the lightpost on the corner of one of the yards and we would play hide-and-go-seek. We would hide all over the neighborhood! And yes, when it was suppertime, our mothers would stand on the front yard and holler for us to come home. I remember travelling from Manitoba to Alberta for summer holidays and my brother and I would play in the back of the van. He would often sit on a little suitcase between the two front seats with a map and track where we were.

This does actually segue (kinda) into what I had planned on writing about before I got that email. Patience. The ability to wait for something. The ability to work for an extended period of time in order to reach a goal or accomplish a task. Technology has taught us many things but one of them is a lack of patience. Now come on, admit it, you've sat there grumbling because your computer is taking too long to boot up. There are more than 3 people in our line at the grocery store and the person at the front is pulling out all her coupons while the cashier calls for a price check on an obscure item that the employee sent to find it has to call twice to the cashier before finding the right item (and then of course a manager has to be called to do an override).

And don't even get me started about traffic!

One of the things I've noticed in my business especially is the need for people to feel instantly successful. Well, I've been doing this for over 5 years and I am successful but I didn't get my first big paycheque my first month in. It took me a while to build a business. It took time to develop a new set of skills. So I guess whatever it is that you are pursuing, make sure you give it time to develop and grow. To continue the flashback to my childhood, "Rome wasn't built in a day". Whether you are working on personal development, growing a new business, learning a new instrument, becoming a parent for the first time, remember that there is a learning curve and you need to allow yourself time to grow. You need to realize that when you hit a roadblock, you have choices: you can either turn around and go home, you can sit on the roadblock and pout, or you can look for a way to get past it. Without challenges, we will not grow. Trees, when hit by a storm, push their roots into the ground, making them stronger for the next storm. They grow because of the challenges.

So, next time you see your child drinking out of the dog's dish, grab the camera first. She will survive. And next time you feel stuck and out of ideas, call someone who's been there, or look for a creative solution and step out of your comfort zone.

"Go out on a limb. That's where all the fruit is."
--W. Rogers

Home again, home again, jiggety jog.

I don't even know where to begin! Our trip to Acapulco was so amazing from start to finish. From a business stand-point, we were treated like professionals and given so much information about the New Discovery Toys - that's right! It's going to be new! We have a new logo and will soon have new web tools, a completely new look and so much more! There were also countless opportunities to talk with the different owners (both in clothes and in swimsuits). That's one of the things I love - the opportunity to be sitting on the edge of the pool giving my input to the decision makers of this company. They were asking us for so much feedback and it was just a pleasure to be able to share with them. Also, I had some fantastic talks with the president of DT, Rich Newton. I love this man. He has such a big heart and is so willing to help people and listen to them. It gives you a really big confidence boost when both the president and VP of sales introduce you to people as a hot shot and tell you how much they believe in you. That's what this company does!!!! This is not a job. This is not a hobby. This is not me out selling a few toys to help pay the bills. This is an opportunity that has changed who I am. I am a strong, confident business woman, a great mom with confident children, a dedicated wife with a great marriage. I feel the most successful when I have helped someone else reached a goal. I have learned (for the most part!) a balance in my life and I am taking care of myself and giving myself value.

Now the personal side of the trip. I can't tell you how proud it makes me feel that the reason we were on that trip was because of me! I was able to take my family to Acapulco. I was the reason we stayed in a 5-star hotel. If you want your husband to support what you do, just earn a trip! The Fairmont Princess was so beautiful! The kids had so much fun, both at the 5 pools and at the Kids Klub. They too got Discovery Toys t-shirts and wore them proudly. Frogurt told Rich how much he liked being a part of Discovery Toys. He and Rich are now partners. Freckels was inseperable from her travel buddy Petra. They did everything together. We also got to take the kids swimming with the dolphins, a dream come true especially for Freckles.

Now the post-vacation work begins! Not only the laundry, but the dedication of myself to building my business and taking it to new heights. I am very excited for what this year will hold! It is going to be an exciting ride so get in, strap in and join me!

Cash is a 4-letter word

Ahh yes...in the midst of all things financial, I have a suggestion that has been immensely helpful for us. Now this was something I had been meaning to do and started doing before any of the stuff was in the media and this actually is not really related to the economic times we find ourselves in. It certainly helps in times like these but I think it is a universal principle and don't know why it took me so long to get with the program.

The program? Cash. That's right - no debit, no credit card...just cold hard cash! You want to know where all your money is going in a week? You want to be able to stick to a budget? Use cash. Now my friend Julie told me several (okay, many many) times to watch this show Til Debt Do Us Part. Well, thank-you Julie! (for my American friends, it is a Canadian show but still very applicable - it actually is kinda nice to see them working with Canadian money on TV - don't see that very often). Anyhoo, I have watched the show quite a bit now and it really helped us make that move to cash. I had wanted to do it for a while but this show helped me figure out what to do with it. So now in our cupboard, we have 4 jars - Food & Eating Out, Transportation, Entertainment, and Everything Else. Each week our budget is divided up into the jars (which I was able to figure out from her interactive worksheet) and I know exactly where I'm at. So now when I go to Costco and I know I only have $80 left for groceries for the week, I don't even go down certain aisles.

The other thing this has got me doing again is meal planning. What a lifesaver! I sit down at the beginning of the week and figure out what I am going to make for suppers for the week. That way when I go to the grocery store with cash in my pocket, I know exactly what to spend it on. Sounds time consuming, you say? Not at all! I used to spend so much time fretting about what I was going to make and then having to make extra runs to the grocery store to pick up a can of coconut milk or whatever else...Now, I make my list, do my shopping in one trip and I'm good to go for the week. Plus the meal planning probably only takes me about 10 minutes. I would call that a time saver!

Now the whole purpose behind this was so that we could live exclusively on Troy's income, which we have come much closer to doing now. My income goes towards things like debt repayment and the extras (clothes, car maintenance, gifts, etc). I know that ideally, Gail (the host of the show) has a jar for clothes but we don't buy clothes every week. If you do, then make sure you have a jar and a budget for it.

Lastly, we have also started an emergency fund. Every month, an automatic transfer happens into a separate account so when those bigger things happen, we are not scrambling or pulling out the plastic to deal with it.

This is still a process and we are far from perfect but I can't tell you what a stress-reliever it has been. We now know exactly where the money is going and there is so much more thought that goes into purchases. That was a big eye-opener for me - how thought-less my shopping had become. When you have a specific plan, you think twice before throwing that patio set in your cart because it's such a good deal and it probably won't be there next week!

I highly recommend trying this. I bet you won't go back. It's time to put the thinking back into our spending and our saving.

Wear the Old Coat and Buy the New Book

I love that quote - it's by Austin Phelps (of course, I tend to buy the new coat and the new book....)

Sorry for my absence. I was quite ill at the beginning of the week, when I meant to post and then have been catching up on things.

Anyhoo, today I wanted to share about my bookshelf. I have found such joy in reading over the last few years. In school, I read because I had to but only rarely actually enjoyed the books picked for me. After I had children, I felt I didn't have time. I now know that it is vitally important for me to make time to read. It is one of the ways I grow as a person. Fiction and non-fiction alike have shaped me into the person I am. So I wanted to share some of my favorites! I have been in and out of book clubs over the last several years and always feel like I am missing something when I am not a part of one. I don't know if it's a time-of-life thing but it seems to be a hard thing to get people to commit to for any length of time. Still, I am thankful for the times I have been in them as they have introduced me to some of my favorite books that I might not have discovered otherwise.

Fiction:
She's Come Undone by Wally Lamb
This was the first book club book I read (it was my pick). Wow - what a great book. I remember being about 30 or 40 pages from the end thinking to myself that there was no way he could end the book that would satisfy me. There was a big fork in the story and I didn't like any of the possible directions. But what a wonderful surprise!

The Poisonwood Bible by Barbara Kingfisher
This was such a riveting story and taught me so much about how we react to circumstances in our lives. I can't say enough good things about this book. Highly recommend it.

A Thousand Splendid Suns by Khaled Hosseinni
I also loved The Kite Runner (if you saw the movie, you missed out. You've got to read the book) but what I loved about this book in particular was his ability to make you feel how real the characters are. At one point while reading, I set the book down and looked at Troy and said "Did you ever wish a character in a book was real just so you could beat the shit out of him?" Incredibly powerful writing!

Pay It Forward by Catherine Ryan Hyde
Again, you might remember they made a movie out of this - try to forget that. I have never been so disappointed in a book-interpretation of a movie... This is an incredibly moving story and there is so much more depth to the characters. It will inspire you!

Non-Fiction:
The Success Principles by Jack Canfield
I have already read this book twice and will read it many more times. It is just such a practical book on how to get what you want. I am very much about figuring out what you want and then putting a plan in place to get it! If you are new to non-fiction, this is a great place to start. The chapters are short and each day gives you a new principle. It is from this book that I learned the term "inverse paranoid" which I now consider myself: I believe that everyone out there is here to help me!

Excuse Me, Your Life Is Waiting by Lynn Grabhorn
This was my first "law of attraction" book and I admit, I put off reading it for a long time because there are parts of it that just don't line up with my beliefs. I have learned something though and that is that there are many things I can learn without compromising my beliefs. For example, much of the law of attraction literature says to "put it out to the universe". Well, for me, when I read that, it means to me to pray. When I read it in that context, it makes a whole lot more sense!

Dare to Dream, Work To Win by Tom Barrett
This is written specifically from a network marketing standpoint and is by far the best book I have read on the subject. If you are in network marketing, this is a must read! He puts forth a very simple plan for success: plan your work; work your plan. Did I mention this is a must read??


Well, I could go on all day. But I would love to hear from you what have been some of the most influential books for you. What books have stayed with you and influenced the person you've become. What books were just so good that you stayed up until 4 in the morning even though you had to get up the next morning but you just couldn't put it down? Which authors have been able to draw you into their worlds so much that you could feel the wind in your hair and smell the dew on the grass? Which books have caused you to go through an entire box of tissue in one sitting?