Monday, August 23, 2010

In Search of Solitude

For the past week or so, I just haven't quite been feeling my usual self. I've still been in a fairly good mood and still been happy to talk with people and share all I have to share, but underneath it all, there was something that just wasn't quite right.

Then yesterday came and it was just a compilation of little things that became a much bigger deal than they needed to and I was downright grumpy. I even burned the cookies I baked. That was the final straw.

And then the realization came: I haven't been having my quiet time. I've been sleeping in and missing my time of reading and journaling that normally starts my day. It had become much more hit-and-miss over the last month. The effects had finally caught up with me.

So this morning I got up with the alarm, made my coffee and sat down to start doing my morning routine. Ahh. Things were feeling right. And then my son woke up early. No big deal - he went downstairs to watch a little something. But not 5 minutes had past when I heard the call from the basement. He had spilled the tea I had left in a mug next to the couch last night. Sigh. I got up to dab it out of the carpet. Apparently since I was the one who left the tea in a bad spot, I was the one that had to clean it up.

Okay so I came back upstairs and got back on track. Then I spilled my coffee on the couch. Bigger sigh (maybe some cursing too). I got up and cleaned up the mess that I had made. I sat down again and looked at the words I had just written in my gratitude journal: "I am so thankful for this quiet time to start my day and help me focus." The words were ringing hollow at that moment.

I continued on. Once I finished journaling, I picked up the book I was reading only to discover my bookmark had been removed. This was becoming laughable - except that I wasn't laughing. When I finally found my page and started to read, things began to fall into place. It's an excellent book, entitled Crush It by Gary Vaynerchuk.

The lesson I learned? Things don't always go smoothly and sometimes when we think we've got the perfect plan, obstacles will arise and try to derail us. How we react will determine whether we succeed or fail. I could have very easily walked away and said that I'd try again tomorrow. But I didn't. I stuck with it and ultimately - eventually - it became a beneficial time that did help me focus.

We usually don't have to look very hard to find reasons or excuses to give up on something. But when we look for the lesson and push through, ultimately it is worth it. That is when true growth happens. Look for the lesson and of course, be willing to laugh - especially at yourself!


Geosomin said...

This is too true. It's easy to get caught up in things and rushed... I've found myself looking forward to september when, altho I will be busier than ever as I'll now have 2 classes to take, I have decided that will have my morning workouts again and not jsut my walking/biking to work...I miss my "me time" to think and get pumped for the day. To look after myself, have some oatmeal and pet a cat or two before the insanity of life takes off into high gear.
All summer I've been slacking off that in exchange for precious sleep (oh sleep how I love you) but I'm now seeing how much I need it...

Cindi said...

I hear ya! I did the same thing this summer - slept in way too much - and by the end, I was noticing a big difference in my overall mood and performance level.
There is nothing like starting the day with a cat on your lap :)